Feb 10, 2010 - Raw Thoughts    1 Comment

A Tenacious Grip

This blog post will begin with something I should have done a long, long time ago. This is my brother, Mason. God is currently doing awesome things through him in Portland, OR. But in these pictures Mason is in Lakeside, Montana. That is his home until May.

More times than we probably realize… when we pledge our love and our lives to Jesus in response to His mighty love for us, we are opening ourselves up to some huge changes. Bigger than we can comprehend. If we truly seek to know and love Him, our plans start to look different. Maybe even crazy. For me, so far, it has meant surrendering my first love and giving that relationship up… to follow the One who loved me before my time on earth began. For some family friends it has meant leaving a secure, lucrative, high-level position at a big company to serve as a family in a third-world country. Cross-cultural love. For my brother, so far, it has meant graduating early from high school and using his extra six months before beginning college to serve the Lord, growing in an understanding of who He is and putting that knowledge into radical, daily practice. All for Him. The common thread in all of these? A change of plans. Leaving comfort and security. Leaving good things. Truly good things. (There is nothing inherently wrong with love relationships, financial success and stability, or a season of rest. But there is danger in being comfortable… in thinking that those things are worth living your life for.) But so much more than just a simple change of plans or lifestyle, all of these stories involve running toward something so much bigger – a purpose for being here! Not just existing. Surviving. But instead surrendering time, money, devotion, and life itself to the Love that never fails. Because He is worthy. His is the one Love that cannot be earned – only received. It is perfect. My Father offered everything He had – Himself – His son Jesus. To be a perfect, one-time sacrifice to end all sacrifices. To conquer death and fear of death. To end our striving. To make a way for us – THE way. There is no more “I’m not good enough. I’m not pretty/smart/patient/thin/loving/capable/talented enough.” There is no more trying to earn the Father’s love that He so desperately wants to lavish upon us. There is only accepting that love through the saving grace of Jesus Christ. And seeking to know that loving, perfect Father with our entire being because it compels us to do so. It is a response!

“Love so amazing, so divine

demands my soul,

my life, my all!”

My plans got shattered today. I scurried about frantically today on errands, writing emails, and packing, packing, packing. To go home. For a long, glorious weekend with my family and my camera. I invested all I had in those plans to hop on that bus and get out of Savannah for a few days. Those plans came crashing down at the bus station, where the man behind the counter just shook his head and said, “Snow.”

This may not sound like a life-altering experience. In truth, it is not. But this disappointment slapped me in the face. It reminded me that I am not in control. I am not my own. I belong to Him. Despite my perfect packing, completing all my tasks, staying up late purchasing tickets and wrapping up loose ends, stressing out my body with the adrenaline pumping through my system all day long… it still didn’t work out. Today I thought I was in control. There is nothing wrong with being task-oriented and productive. But there is something wrong when my attitude is one of independence, managing my life in a way that says, “God, I’ve got this.” Because I don’t.

In the chaos of my weekend plans crumbling and my nerves unraveling, I sought the quiet of the one place I could think of: the seating area of the lobby bathroom. The Lord is good. I was overwhelmed in that moment. My family scrambled to lay out the alternative options: my family (Mom, Dad, and my visiting Grandma) driving the 5 hours to come get me and taking the train back, flying home, various combinations of flying and trains… Thank you, Father, for my family. For them loving me enough to care that my bus got canceled. For being ready and willing to come pick me up by car. For their patience. For their assistance in piecing this back together. For them being willing to fly me out of here tomorrow morning just so I can spend some much-desired time at home. For their love. For your love, Father. You have provided me with so much more than just a plane ticket home.

P.S. This is my brother’s blog. You can check it out at theGrooveDude.com.

P.S.S. I love you brudder! Thank you Jesus for blessing me with such a wonderful family, each one of us ready to serve You and support each other in doing so. Thank you for Mason’s willingness to follow You. To Montana and beyond. (Because we all know there is a beyond.) Thank you, Father, for providing for me today and every day. You are so good.

1 Comment

  • Rachel! I love reading your blogs…but especially this one. You allowed your love for your Jesus to just wash all over it…drenching it…telling it like it is! Yes, He is worthy! Your open expressions of thankfulness and love for things that are really important are indeed refreshing. Your willingness to surrender your entire being to live the life God has planned for you is wonderful and exciting–I eagerly wait to see His plan unfold for sweet Rachel!

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