My world is currently a web spinning in the intersection of several, several mediums. It’s interesting… because this is SCAD’s “finals week.” Includes a healthy balance of:

1. Somewhat severely adjusted eating and sleeping habits.

2. Inability to put one class to the side and ignore it; a mega project from each class is thrust upon you. And you have to tackle it all at once.

3. Fluctuating amounts of delirium, madness, mood swings, irritibility, fatigue, possibly a little PMS thrown in there - who knows? (Not me, thank you Jesus.)

4. Increased prayers for things like not getting sick, not falling victim to technological malfunctions/disasters, and getting a bite to eat every now and then.

So. Despite those norms… that is hardly the extent of my world right now. Hardly. God has chosen this time to bring me through some sort of radical “trust Me” week. He is wanting me to spend quality time with Him in this stressful period, when my academic impulse is to forgo God time to catch up on sleep. He wants me to pay even closer attention to the way He is working around me and through me. A couple days ago I slept terrible (TERRIBLE). The next night I skipped Bible study with every intention of using that time to finish my work and get a big fat sleep. Well? God had other things in mind. Instead, I got even worse sleep! But this was because God brought me a six-hour hangout, a new friendship, and a sweet moving of the Holy Spirit at 1 AM. Talk about bonding. God is so cool. He works in ways that stretch my physical limitations… and completely break my unwillingness to be stretched. God is moving this week! My world spins with chaos… but He has plans far beyond research paper deadlines and film shoots. He is building His Kingdom. And He is using me. (That’s pretty cool.)

So, back to the media my world is soaking in:

1. Sculpture. My final project for Large-Format involves “sculpting” or assembling still lives that play with dimensionality and textural relationships. By that I mean how certain objects interact and speak to each other through their surfaces and also how flat, two-dimensional planes can merge with those objects given the right construction. Just a taste. I can’t help sharing.

2. Storytelling. My final for Intro to Film is (read: will be) a 5-10 minute piece - story had to be inspired from a newspaper article. Those are the only two requirements. I have absolutely loved fleshing out my idea and watching it come to life at the generosity of others sharing their time, their objects, and themselves. Film is such a collaborative medium. I love how my idea has evolved on set given random wonderful accidents and sudden changes of plan.

3.History. My research paper for my Twentieth Century Art class is focused on the Merzbau created by Kurt Schwitters in the 1920s and 30s. I am completely and totally drawn into his world of personal artistic standards, his methods, and his experimentation and defiance of tradition at the time. This particular investigation I am on has me interested in so many other things. Environmental/Installation art - tugging at my sculptural heartstrings. Collections - why we collect, what it means to collect. I just read a fantastic essay in a book called The Cultures of Collecting (Elsner & Cardinal). I think I want to buy the book and read the entire collection of essays. The book (might actually be considered an anthology…) explores the collecting habits of certain individuals and artists through essays. This particular resource has really helped me connect with Schwitters on a personal level… especially in realizing the significance of his collages being assembled from the rubbish he found in his Hanover streets (post WWI). If you know me, you probably know that I have a similar habit of filling my pockets with the bits and scraps dismissed by strangers. Post-It lists in particular.

Anyway. This is just me saying “Hello, dear world.” I am here. Buried in essays on Merz theory, tapes that need to be digitized and edited, a blanket that calls to me for a nice long sleep, to-do lists up to my eyeballs, and negatives that need to be taken. Yet somehow God is still in the mix… for the first time I can still see Him and I still want to be with Him even in all the most stressful chaos I can imagine. He moves. And I belong to Him. He is my righteousness. I love that He is bringing interesting topics and explorations into my life along with wonderful people. I love how this crazy week is still filled with intimate time spent with those hearts He has connected me with. I love that my world is exploding with other colors, other ways of being - bookmaking, scrap-collecting, environmental designing, sculpting, scavenger-hunting, crazy late night talking, embracing spontaneity for maybe the first time in my life. And letting my soul rest in Him. Doing my best work while not letting the pressures of this world consume me.

Lord, you are so wonderful. Thank you for changing me.

This blog post will begin with something I should have done a long, long time ago. This is my brother, Mason. God is currently doing awesome things through him in Portland, OR. But in these pictures Mason is in Lakeside, Montana. That is his home until May.

More times than we probably realize… when we pledge our love and our lives to Jesus in response to His mighty love for us, we are opening ourselves up to some huge changes. Bigger than we can comprehend. If we truly seek to know and love Him, our plans start to look different. Maybe even crazy. For me, so far, it has meant surrendering my first love and giving that relationship up… to follow the One who loved me before my time on earth began. For some family friends it has meant leaving a secure, lucrative, high-level position at a big company to serve as a family in a third-world country. Cross-cultural love. For my brother, so far, it has meant graduating early from high school and using his extra six months before beginning college to serve the Lord, growing in an understanding of who He is and putting that knowledge into radical, daily practice. All for Him. The common thread in all of these? A change of plans. Leaving comfort and security. Leaving good things. Truly good things. (There is nothing inherently wrong with love relationships, financial success and stability, or a season of rest. But there is danger in being comfortable… in thinking that those things are worth living your life for.) But so much more than just a simple change of plans or lifestyle, all of these stories involve running toward something so much bigger - a purpose for being here! Not just existing. Surviving. But instead surrendering time, money, devotion, and life itself to the Love that never fails. Because He is worthy. His is the one Love that cannot be earned - only received. It is perfect. My Father offered everything He had - Himself - His son Jesus. To be a perfect, one-time sacrifice to end all sacrifices. To conquer death and fear of death. To end our striving. To make a way for us - THE way. There is no more “I’m not good enough. I’m not pretty/smart/patient/thin/loving/capable/talented enough.” There is no more trying to earn the Father’s love that He so desperately wants to lavish upon us. There is only accepting that love through the saving grace of Jesus Christ. And seeking to know that loving, perfect Father with our entire being because it compels us to do so. It is a response!

“Love so amazing, so divine

demands my soul,

my life, my all!”

My plans got shattered today. I scurried about frantically today on errands, writing emails, and packing, packing, packing. To go home. For a long, glorious weekend with my family and my camera. I invested all I had in those plans to hop on that bus and get out of Savannah for a few days. Those plans came crashing down at the bus station, where the man behind the counter just shook his head and said, “Snow.”

This may not sound like a life-altering experience. In truth, it is not. But this disappointment slapped me in the face. It reminded me that I am not in control. I am not my own. I belong to Him. Despite my perfect packing, completing all my tasks, staying up late purchasing tickets and wrapping up loose ends, stressing out my body with the adrenaline pumping through my system all day long… it still didn’t work out. Today I thought I was in control. There is nothing wrong with being task-oriented and productive. But there is something wrong when my attitude is one of independence, managing my life in a way that says, “God, I’ve got this.” Because I don’t.

In the chaos of my weekend plans crumbling and my nerves unraveling, I sought the quiet of the one place I could think of: the seating area of the lobby bathroom. The Lord is good. I was overwhelmed in that moment. My family scrambled to lay out the alternative options: my family (Mom, Dad, and my visiting Grandma) driving the 5 hours to come get me and taking the train back, flying home, various combinations of flying and trains… Thank you, Father, for my family. For them loving me enough to care that my bus got canceled. For being ready and willing to come pick me up by car. For their patience. For their assistance in piecing this back together. For them being willing to fly me out of here tomorrow morning just so I can spend some much-desired time at home. For their love. For your love, Father. You have provided me with so much more than just a plane ticket home.

P.S. This is my brother’s blog. You can check it out at theGrooveDude.com.

P.S.S. I love you brudder! Thank you Jesus for blessing me with such a wonderful family, each one of us ready to serve You and support each other in doing so. Thank you for Mason’s willingness to follow You. To Montana and beyond. (Because we all know there is a beyond.) Thank you, Father, for providing for me today and every day. You are so good.

Hee hee - this is a letter I just got from my dear grandparents. Silly Grandpa put the stamp on upside down. I am not quite sure why I find this amusing enough to put this on my blog.

Rather, this funny happening reminded me of the photographs I took of my grandparents while I was in MO for Christmas.

Hands hands hands. I love them. Especially my Grandpa’s. I absolutely love this photograph. It was a stroke of accidental brilliance. At least I think so. What do you think?

This is my beautiful Grandma Sue. She writes in only capital letters just like Mom. Make sure you click on this photo to make it bigger - it’s worth it.

Silly Grandpa, he made some pretty hysterical faces right before this, but I prefer his natural expressions. I really like the combination of colors & patterns for some reason. It is oddly satisfying in its quirkiness.

Usually, my obsessions are concentrated on hands (see above), but lately I have taken to ears. Specifically women with wispy strands out of place and delicate earrings.

And out of respect to my grandparents, this is how I KNOW they prefer to be represented:

I can get away with getting uncomfortably close to them with my camera - all because they love me. This is how I so often wish I could photograph the people I meet and adore. All the little details I observe - preserved forever. The details constitute a  portion of reality - more prominent in my world than most. But to the average viewer, this would not be considered documenting reality… mainly because I am selecting small details to represent entire persons.

I guess that’s just my vision. I wouldn’t have it any other way.

* P.S. Check out this link to KayLynn Deveney’s work if you enjoyed these images at all. She spent a good deal of time getting to know an elderly man named Albert Hastings - all while documenting the small moments of his day-to-day life. I stumbled across her work in our college bookstore and fell in love with it - especially the handwritten, interactive aspect between artist and subject.